Perhaps the hardest thing to overcome is the desire to please others or to fulfill their expectations. This desire for validation is deep in our DNA. For centuries, you could not do much without your community or your tribe. Hence it was important to be accepted, you had to conform to survive. Capitalism changed this equation and allowed people to no longer depend on their tribes and communities. We no longer live with a small group of people in a circle of codependence. However, humans evolve slowly. So we have created these virtual tribes in our mind, a group of people, often with a rolling cast of characters who in our minds have nothing better to do than to observe us, to applaud our success and criticize our failures. We waste our time and energy in seeking artificial approval from the fluid virtual group. Why else would we fall prey to brands? Why else would we spend so much time not being in the moment but capturing the moment, for others to see?
The obvious approach to getting out of this would be to resolve that “I don’t care for anyone”, a resolve that I would take every other week during my college years. However, that approach will fail as it takes away what is most human about us - to care for others.
So here is a contrarian suggestion. Instead of diminishing your care, increase it, turn it all the way to a 11. However, don’t care for what they think of you. Instead care deeply for how you can be there for them, care for how you can love them unconditionally, care for how you can forgive them as easily as you would a toddler, and care for giving them your 100% when you are with them.
Unconditional love melts away expectations, dissolves the peer-pressure scorecard you have in your mind, releases the unnecessary baggage of performance that you have set for yourself and returns you to lightness, laughter and love - qualities that make you human.